A hilarious Twitter account collects terrible examples of males writing women that decision into question whether they have got ever met or noticed a woman of their lives.

Character development is one of the cornerstones of good fiction writing. It requires a keen skill for observation and a excellent amount of empathy, particularly if you find yourself writing about an individual who has a distinct point of view from your individual. At the very least, you might want to perform a little research and talk to a couple of other folks from similar walks of life. 

But as evidenced by way of my new favourite Twitter account, @men_write_women, many male writers are it seems that clueless about women's our bodies and experiences. And but they churn out books stuffed with feminine characters that make readers ask, "has this writer ever met a woman before?" Here are 10 accidentally hilarious items of revealed writing about women via males.

Stuart Woods is the writer of a criminal offense fiction collection that includes detective-turned-lawyer Stone Barrington, a human male who thinks it's totally customary for a girl to have a small handbag she stows inside of her vagina. This excerpt comes to a clinical examiner — an reputable who via law in most towns must be a licensed physician, by the best way — describing the cases of a feminine sufferer to any person who asks, "Where does she live?" slightly than "Sorry, what did you say? A purse in her vagina? How?!"

In case you might be reading this and perplexed as to why this is a baffling piece of writing, let's simply say that no matter how elastic this part of the body is, there will not be a single owner of a vagina who could comfortably walk with a debit card nestled inside of it, and the very idea makes me want to fold up into a bit origami crane and fly away.

"Wait," could also be saying to your self, "isn't V.C. Andrews a woman?" She certain was, until she lost her battle with breast most cancers in 1986. However, after her death, the inheritors of her property gave the impression to find no ethical predicament in hiring a ghostwriter to continue capitalizing on her name neatly into the 21st century. 

That writer is Andrew Neiderman, who has written dozens upon dozens of books under Cleo Virginia Andrews' pen title. And he apparently thinks it's A-OK to write a lady watching her body the way an antebellum slave proprietor may. Yikestown is true.

Unfortunately, the title and identify of this gem has been overlooked to protect the responsible. In this example, it appears to be a male persona musing about a girl who, regardless of having large breasts and a cushy, womanly body, controlled to be succesful of battle. Maybe the character is supposed to look as clueless about women's our bodies as these authors seem to be? It's the one reason behind this excerpt that sits well with me.

The account has inspired others to share their own examples of dangerous writing about women.

I took the liberty of highlighting the passage that made me react much the way this reader of Charles Israel's Rizpah did. "A woman's strength is in her softness, her waitingness." Her waitingness? If we can just table the chauvinistic underpinnings of that sentence for a sec — we will get again to it — what type of phrase is "waitingness," and has there ever been a clunkier word ever? What an awkward method to describe women as passive and literally simply sitting there, waiting for a dude to occur. And then that's adopted via "the aura of the womb is upon her," along side the recommendation that the ownership of a womb involves "no loss." My dude, step away from the keyboard.

This passage from Ned Vizzini's It's Kind of a Funny Story is written from the point of view of a 16-year-old boy, so I kind of get why he's absolutely fixated on breasts. Honestly, I'm most commonly making an attempt to figure out how he even is aware of her eyes rolled since he obviously wasn't looking at her face. And if he did clock the eye roll, how did he catch the boobs one way or the other moving in synch with them? And did I miss the day in anatomy magnificence the place they taught us that the optic nerve is hooked up to the pectorals?

This snipped it from Damned by means of Chuck Palahniuk. I believe find it irresistible's necessary to mention that Chuck is brazenly homosexual and that can explain why he clearly does no longer have a robust working out of women's intimate portions. Otherwise, he most probably wouldn't examine them to goosebumps? I would hope? What a weird and peculiar approach to describe being chilly.

Reddit has also been clocking dangerous writing about women through males...

This subreddit has accrued a couple of gem stones like the one above from Once Gone by way of Blake Pierce, who must in point of fact do a little analysis on women as well as intercourse trafficking. First off, one does no longer need to have borne a child to have stretch marks — and even be a lady. One simply needs to have long gone through puberty, skilled weight acquire or loss, or long past via a growth spurt. And apparently he thinks best childless women and girls beneath 30 are the victims of intercourse trafficking. I sure hope actual detectives don't seem to be this clueless!

Folks, this is a description of two women in a focus camp, from Ken Follett's Winter of the World: Book Two of the Century Trilogy.

The physician's wife is "hollow-cheeked and lined with strain" as a result of she is in a concentration camp. It's really important that I hammer on this point for somewhat, as a result of it's essential to that you already know this creator is describing a woman speaking to a young person — whose adolescent body he describes as "too voluptuous for her years" — who is also in a focus camp.

This is a passage from Supermarket, the bestselling novel by Bobby Hall, AKA rapper Logic. Apparently being impolite and confrontational is a symptom of having been sexually abused as a teenager — or it's only a flimsy attempt to tear down a girl who has publicly rejected or humiliated a person by hook or by crook. He also describes two ladies in this page by announcing what celebrities they resemble.

John Updike will have been a celebrated man of letters, but he had an excessively poor understanding of the feminine bladder. From this passage out of The Witches of Eastwick, it might seem he concept it's attached to the urethra through a posh series of tubes, kind of like the board recreation Mouse Trap, which makes it so we have to sit down on the bathroom for minutes "waiting for the pee to come." 

My concept is that the women in Updike's lifestyles would incessantly take longer in the toilet than they needed simply to get a second's rest from being explained to like they're children. 

And, BTW, the female urethra is far shorter than the male version — like about 5 instances shorter.

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